How Music Changed My Life: Tems Reveals How She Shed Hyper-Independence and Learned to Embrace Love
In a deeply personal and open interview with ‘Doose Of Society’, Grammy-winning superstar Tems has shared how music truly changed her life. She talked about her journey from being a guarded, “hyper-independent” loner to someone who finally feels free to love and be loved.
Total Certified Units Sold: Over 25 Million worldwide.
RIAA Certified Units (USA): 12 Million.
UK #1 Singles: 1 (“Raindance”).
Net Worth/Business: Partial owner of San Diego FC (MLS).
Quick Facts
| Full Name | Temilade Openiyi |
| Birth Date | June 11, 1995 |
| Education | Economics Degree (Monash South Africa) |
| Grammy Wins | 2 (As of 2026) |
| First #1 US Hit | “Wait for U” (2022) |
| First #1 UK Hit | “Raindance” (2026) |
| Latest Album | Born in the Wild (2024) |
Tems’ Big Personal Shift
At 31, Temilade Openiyi (known to the world as Tems) admitted that before she found success in music, she had built massive emotional walls. Because she was used to being rejected, she taught herself to be “tough” by hiding her feelings and pushing people away just to protect herself.
In her own words:
“Being an artist has changed my life. There are a lot of people who know me now. It made me grow; I had to drop a lot of habits that were holding me back—one of those things was my hyper-independence and the way I used to push people away.”
She continued:
“I have now learned to embrace love, to just be open, and be free to give love and be vulnerable without feeling weird about it.”
Tems explained that she used to think being strong meant burying her emotions. However, her music career forced her to face the negative things she told herself and finally accept that people could genuinely support her.
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From a Desk Job to Global Fame
Tems’ journey really started in 2018 when she quit her digital marketing job to chase her music dreams full-time. Her first song, ‘Mr Rebel,’ got people talking, but it was her 2020 feature on Wizkid’s hit ‘Essence’ that turned her into an international star.
Since then, she has:
- Worked with huge names like Drake, Beyoncé, and Justin Bieber.
- Won multiple Grammy Awards.
- Become the first Nigerian artist to hit over 40 million monthly listeners on Spotify.
While fame brings a lot of pressure, for Tems, it was the spark she needed to change. As she said, when millions of people know who you are, it becomes impossible to hide behind your old, protective habits.
Why Her Message Matters
This isn’t just a celebrity gossip story. Many people—especially young women—can relate to the feeling of being “too independent” as a way to survive. Tems’ willingness to talk about her walls and the healing power of being vulnerable makes her more than just a singer; it makes her an inspiration.
Music didn’t just give Tems a career—it changed how she sees herself. It taught her how to receive love, trust that she is enough, and stop running away from real connections.
Key Takeaways from Tems’ Journey
- Growth through being seen – Having the world watch her forced her to look inward and change for the better.
- Dropping old habits – She realized that being “too independent” was actually a habit that was keeping her lonely.
- The power of vulnerability – She learned that showing your true self isn’t a weakness; it’s freedom.
- Beating self-rejection – Music helped her rewrite her story from “I always get rejected” to “I am accepted.”
FAQs
Who is Tems?
Temilade Openiyi, known professionally as Tems, is a world-famous Nigerian singer, songwriter, and record producer. Born on June 11, 1995, in Lagos, Nigeria, she has become a global face for Afrobeats and R&B. She is famous for her deep, “velvety” voice and her ability to blend African sounds with global soul.
What happened with her arrest in Uganda?
In late 2020, Tems and fellow artist Omah Lay were arrested in Uganda after a show, allegedly for violating COVID-19 protocols. However, after a huge outcry from fans and the music industry, the Ugandan government dropped all charges and apologized, releasing them two days later.
How did Tems become famous?
While she was already a rising star in Nigeria with her 2019 hit “Try Me,” her big global break came in 2020. She was featured on Wizkid’s smash hit “Essence.” The song eventually reached number 9 on the Billboard Hot 100 after a remix with Justin Bieber, making Tems a household name internationally.
Has Tems won any Grammy Awards?
Yes! She is the first Nigerian female artist to win a Grammy. * Her first win was for Best Melodic Rap Performance for the song “Wait for U” (with Future and Drake).
At the 67th Annual Grammy Awards, she made history again by winning Best African Music Performance for her song “Love Me JeJe,” making her the first Nigerian artist to win multiple Grammys.
Beyond her two Grammys, Tems has a trophy cabinet full of major awards, including:
- 4 BET Awards
- 4 NAACP Image Awards
- 3 Soul Train Music Awards
- Billboard Women in Music “Breakthrough” Award (2024) — She was the first African singer to receive this.
What are her biggest songs and collaborations?
Tems has worked with the biggest names in music. Some of her most notable tracks include:
“Wait for U” with Future and Drake (which debuted at #1 in the US).
“Essence” with Wizkid.
“Lift Me Up” – She co-wrote this song for Rihanna for the Black Panther: Wakanda Forever soundtrack.
“Free Mind” – A solo fan favorite that broke records for the longest-charting #1 on the R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay chart.
“Raindance” – Her 2026 hit with Dave, which became her first #1 single in the UK.
What is her debut album called?
Tems released her highly anticipated debut studio album, Born in the Wild, in June 2024. The album was a massive critical and commercial success, reaching the top 30 in the UK and several European countries.
What was her life like before music?
Tems is of Yoruba ethnicity and spent her early years in the UK before moving back to Nigeria at age five. She actually has a degree in Economics from Monash South Africa. Before she went full-time into music in 2018, she worked in digital marketing. Interestingly, she was bullied in high school because of her unique voice—the same voice that eventually made her a superstar!
Is Tems involved in any businesses outside of music?
In 2025, Tems expanded her “crown” into the sports world. She became the first African woman to have part ownership in a Major League Soccer (MLS) team by joining the ownership group of San Diego FC.
What kind of music inspires her?
Growing up, her mother only allowed her to listen to Christian music. Later, she discovered artists like Lauryn Hill, Amy Winehouse, Adele, and Burna Boy. At age 15, she actually stopped listening to other artists for a while so she could find her own unique sound without accidentally copying anyone else.
How many records has she sold?
As of 2025, Tems is a powerhouse in sales. she has sold over 25 million certified units worldwide, with 12 million of those units certified by the RIAA in the United States alone.
Final Thoughts
Tems’ interview is a great reminder that real success includes growing as a person. For this Nigerian star, music was the bridge that helped her become a more open, loving, and free individual.
Has music ever helped you break down your own walls or change how you see the world? Tell us your story in the comments below!
